Fish out of water. Odd one out. Outsider. Lone wolf.
Yep, that's me. I might prefer "Bohemian Non-Conformist". Or just no label at all because feeling this way is part of being human. There is something about each and every one of us that is so beautifully unique, but for some reason being uniquely amazing can make us feel alone, isolated, and like an outsider, weirdo or freak. The attributes that make us and our life's journey unique can also lead us to feeling isolated and like we don't belong.
For 10 years I have been on a path, a quest, a search, a journey, to seek reproductive health in order to have a successful pregnancy and birth a beautiful baby or two to grow our family. Each step along the path has been forged by foot, through the thick brush, through the thorns and fog, through the gnarly branches and swarms of insects. Each step has been my own that has never been taken before. And it has left me feeling, at times, incredibly alone. But if I look back, I can see the massive winding path that has been cleared because of my persistence, my determination, my motivation, my hope and faith to never give up.
And I have finally entered the clearing. And up ahead is a beautiful open meadow with a clear path moving forward.
I finally found the last puzzle piece to my mystery after all these years. So now, I can truly say that I am just beginning. Because even though everything that has happened throughout my experience has been a stepping stone that has led me to where I am now, I needed to walk into the clearing and bask in the light to finally have clarity, understanding, and grace. And this clearing is the new, fresh place I need to be in order to start. This is the clearing that opens up to a new path of truth that is laid out ahead for me.
Instead of looking back at the long path and lamenting about how long it took me to get to where I am now, I am choosing to see the gift in the moment. And this gift is that I am now in a new place and starting an entirely new journey, and it has just begun. I have the fine tuned protocol that my body actually needs. I have the tools and knowledge to support my body. I have the truth. And this is my first time embarking forward with the full truth and all the pieces so divinely put into place.
It doesn't matter to me anymore what anyone else things about my choices, or if I'm the only one on the planet who's choosing this for myself. I know I am not alone. I have had divine help in the form of earthly angels who have come to my aid. They may not be many, but they are all that I need. This is my experience for a reason. This experience is a gift and I have a feeling that over time, life will show me just how much of a gift this is, over and over.
We all have unique gifts that make us special and stand out. I no longer see my being an "outsider" as a burden. I am meant to do this. Just as you are meant to go along your own journey. And eventually, those who have similar, parallel paths, will keep going until the paths converge. In our differences we are all more similar than we realize. We are all fighting a fight and forging on with an experience that feels like it's never been done before. So I will continue to share mine with you, in hopes that if we end up on the same path one day, we will recognize, honor, and support each other.
Until then, I am moving forward on my path of truth and light that has so recently been revealed to me. It calls to me so deeply that my soul knows there is no other way.